My Welcome Back For Myself... I Guess?

   I have officially regained my interest in blogging. I forgot how much fun it could be to just write about my thoughts about life and what I'm thinking. Maybe it's the Honors College getting at me here, but I have found a love for writing down my thoughts.
   My last blog post (save for yesterday,) was in 2011. It's crazy to think about how much time has passed since then and how much I've changed. I kind of wish I would've stuck with blogging these past few years, but I didn't, and now I feel like I've lost something, a part of me, that I probably could have saved. This is okay though; I won't go cry about it haha! But a part of me would've loved to go back and read my posts and just see how much I've grown and changed in life.
   Anyways, that's my deep thought for the moment as I sit here in the Student Center with nothing to do. Haha!

From the Privileged

   Hi. My name is Sarah Hocott, and I am a privileged student attending college. I have been a privileged person my whole life too. But I've always been that "privileged" person that didn't really have to worry about money. I usually got what I asked for from Santa, and I have never gone hungry. I got my very first job the summer after my first year of college because I wanted to. I didn't actually need it. I was living just fine off of my excess aid, and my parents also took (and still take) amazing care of me and my needs.

   I was given my first car, a 2007 Pontiac G6, at the age of 16, and when I graduated high school in May of 2013, I was given a brand new 2013 Honda Civic. I was a competitive cheerleader for 13 years and traveled all around the south staying at nice hotels. I've been to Disney World more than a few times; I've been to Hawaii and Australia; I've traveled to Costa Rica, and I'm going to Italy this coming summer (but I will get to that).

   But what am I getting at here? Why does it feel like I'm fixing to rant about something? What have I noticed about being a privileged child throughout my life? The privileged people are always judged... negatively.

   My first encounter with this negative attitude came in the summer of 2012. I went on a trip with the high school Beta Club to the national Beta Club convention in North Carolina. However, after the trip we were going to travel to Washington D.C. and do all sorts of tourist activities. Unfortunately, we never got there. There happened to be a huge storm that knocked out all of the power along the east coast for days, so instead of going to D.C., we ended up just going back home. 

   Why does this matter? Well, all of us had paid money to travel to D.C., but now that we weren't, we had to make a decision as to what we wanted to do with our money. Of course, I was disappointed because I just wanted to go to D.C. I didn't understand why a lot of the other students were so upset. 

   We were given the ultimatum to travel back home but stop in Gatlinburg and use our money there instead. Being me, I just wanted to do something and not go home, so I voted for that; however, many of the students voted to go home. When I asked why they would want to do that, one girl piped up and said, "Some of us actually worked for our own money to pay for this trip, and if we aren't getting what we paid for, I want it back so I can use it to live off of. You wouldn't understand that though."

   For some reason, I was really hurt by this statement. For some reason, I felt as if I needed to apologize for being... privileged. But at the same time, I was conflicted because why should I have to apologize for the situation I was born into. It's not like I chose to be born to a family that had a sufficient amount of money. So... I'm sorry? But I'm not sorry?

   So that was the first encounter where I actually felt bad for having money.

   Then senior year comes along and I succeeded enough to where I had enough scholarships to pay for my college tuition plus some to live off of. Truth be told, I was just excited that I didn't have to deal with having to owe money and dealing with student loans or anything. Dealing with anything official like that terrified me to no end at that moment in time. I couldn't even call to order my own pizza without getting a little nervous. I just have never had to do anything myself, so this was definitely a blessing

   I would never really talk about my situation with anyone besides my parents and grandparents because I was aware that people, even people in my family, would seem to get annoyed at the fact that I, once again, was thrown into another privileged chapter of life. It was really tough talking to people about it that applied with me that didn't get accepted when I did. That was the worst because when people fail together, they rant together. When people succeed together, they make plans to stay together. But when one fails and the other succeeds, there becomes an awkward partition that is placed between the two people. That's what happened with me and a lot of my friends. A lot of people in my high school didn't make the cut and became very "sarcastic" (I'm adding twice the emphasis on the word "sarcastic on purpose) about them not making the cut and me making it. 

   I was embarrassed of being well off. I thought the American Dream was to be well off and be happy and not have to worry about those things? Have people forgotten that?

   But now that I'm in college, it has become more prominent. Being in Honors includes a full paid scholarship with the best living arrangements for an undergrad on campus. I was so excited to be accepted into the college, but I soon realized, it definitely shouldn't be the first thing I mention when talking about myself even after coming to college. 

   When I introduce myself to someone, and when the need arises for me to tell them that I am apart of the Honors society, I feel as if I am immediately judged. Usually, the response is, "Oh, so you're one of those people aren't you? Like, you don't have to worry about paying for college and get your own room right?" Why yes, yes I do. I am that college student. I do have my own room (that I share a bathroom and living room and kitchen with three other amazing women as well). I don't have to worry about paying for college either. That's just kind of how my life is these days. I'm definitely living the good life, riding along on that full ride and not having a care in the world.

   Since this is an informal blog, I'm going to say here, "L.O.FREAKING L. AT THAT!" That statement is definitely not true in any way. Yeah, not everyone gets the luxury of not having to worry about funding college, but why is it seen as so normal for people to have financial struggles. When people say that, everyone accepts it and doesn't look down on people struggling financially. They don't sit and and think, "So you're one of those people that can't pay for college." 

   I could blame it on jealousy, but I'm not writing to place blame on anyone or anything. I'm writing to state that I work just as hard as someone that has to work and go to school to pay their bills. Look at it this way, some people work to pay for their school. Well, when I (or any other student) receive a scholarship or grant, I make a promise to maintain certain criteria to keep receiving my funds. In essence, going to school IS my job. 

   I here people all of the time that joke about their GPA being 2.1 or 1.8 or something. But these are the same people that judge me for not having to pay for college. Well, I'm here to say that, I'm sorry if I worked my butt off throughout all of grade school to receive my scholarships and my "easy ride" through college (which isn't that easy). I spent countless hours taking Honors, PAP, and AP classes while also keeping a 4.0 GPA because I knew I wanted to get these scholarships to get me through school. I've worked nonstop throughout my life to get to where I am, and I still have to work.

   I'm just saying, if you want to get the scholarships that give you a full ride through college, you have to make the top students in your class, basically a 4.0, an almost perfect score on the ACT or SAT, and have an almost flawless personality for interviews. Just because I have an "easy" life doesn't mean that I haven't worked hard for it, and that goes for every other student I know with scholarships or in Honors.

   But now that I am in college with these scholarships, I have to maintain my GPA, take at least 15 hours every semester, I don't have the option to fail any of my classes, and all the while, I still have to be social, eat, and take care of myself. 

   For us "overachievers" as most people say, school is our job. We may not be taking 15 hours and working a job or have a family, but we have so much riding on our backs too. Most of us had to get these scholarships to even attend college too. Personally I don't know how I would even be getting through college if I didn't get into Honors. 

   Now I feel as if I have said my peace somewhat, but I know people are still going to see me as "just another privileged Honors student." But I challenge you to look at me as not a privileged kid, but as a hardworking college student that earned my way here.

   I don't feel that it's fair that people who succeed are frowned upon and are made to feel bad about their successes. People say that gloating is their biggest pet peeve, but why can't I say that I'm in Honors with a full ride? I worked my buttocks off to be able to say that, so why do I still feel like I can't? Why should any person feel bad for succeeding?

   To put it bluntly, not everyone can get everything. Some will succeed, and some will fall. I know that's a harsh thing to say, but it's the way it is. I hate that it is that way. I hate that not everyone has the privileges that I do, but we just have to accept those differences. I don't want to feel like "just another overachiever." I want people to call me a "hard worker" and someone that deserves to be where I am.

   People only deserve as much as they put forth.